Reflections from the Incline

Today, I hiked the Manitou Incline...or should I say the "Stairmaster From Hell"???  It was 3.25 miles of "kick-your-butt".  Well, half of that was "kick-your-butt", because the other half I spent coming down Barr Trail.  Here's the stats:  3.25 miles round trip, 2100ft elevation gain, 50% grade in some places...and just so you know, some people die on the incline.  There are stories of people dying of heart attacks up there!  Glad I didn't know about that before I hiked it.  I consider myself to be in pretty good shape.  I lift weights several days a week, do cardio training, walk and hike.  Two weeks ago, I hiked a 9 mile loop at Spruce Mountain.  It wasn't technically hard at all, just long--and it felt great!  The incline?  Bring it on baby!!!

Well, today I apparently felt the need to hurt myself physically.  This was my first time hiking the incline, and boy did I feel like a wimp!  There were people hoofing it without stopping.  These were the serious "incliners".  You can pick them out right away.  They are decked out in gortex and spandex with backpacks and hydration packs.  The muscles in their legs are bulging like they are ready to explode, and they are dripping in sweat.  They don't talk, uh, can't talk, because they are breathing so hard.  Then there was me.  I was wearing my typical hiking attire: jeans, sneakers, upper body layers (tank top, light wool sweater, fleece jacket), sunglasses, water bottle (well, this time I brought Vitamin Water.  More on this mistake later.)  Everyone thought I was either a tourist or an "incline virgin". 

 About a quarter of the way up, I was wondering if this was such a good idea, but when I commit to something, I like to follow through.  I had already stopped to catch my breath several times, and was sipping on my Vitamin Water.  I thought to myself, "It's just the altitude getting to me, because my legs are in great shape, and they don't even hurt."  Several people continued to pass me up, including a lady wearing a T shirt that had the words "This is cheaper than therapy" printed on it.  Amen sister!  That's why I can't wait to get in the mountains and hike.  This was the motivation I needed to continue on.

A third of the way up, I was huffing and puffing hard.  I was sweating and now had my sweater and fleece tied around my waist.  I couldn't seem to catch my breath, but my legs were still holding up great.  I continued to sip on my Vitamin Water.  Normally, I hike with a bottle of water, but today, I thought I might need the sugar and vitamins that this other drink would provide.  Honestly, it wasn't tasting too good at this point, but I knew it was important to keep hydrated, so I sipped away.  I reminded myself to look down and enjoy the view.  I now realized that there were people who thought it might be "fun" to hike the Incline, who later realized that this was not such a good idea.  Not me!  I can handle this.  I hike all the time, and I'm very physically fit.  (Laugh, laugh, laugh.)

Half way up, I had an "OH CRAP, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?" moment.  I was sweating from places I didn't know I could sweat from.  My chest hurt, my legs hurt and I couldn't catch my breath.  I was thirsty, but the Vitamin Water made me feel like I was going to puke.  All I could think at this point was, "Oh God, oh God, please don't let me throw up in front of these other hikers on the incline!".  It was a moment of pure panic.  I've never felt panicked hiking before--ever.  I looked down.  I looked up.  I realized that there were two options.  Hike back down...well, in the state I was in, it would have been more like tumble my way down.  And yes, I saw a lady loose her footing and fall.  This option spelled FAILURE.  I couldn't do it.  When I commit to something, I follow through, no matter if it's going to kill me or not.

Oh wait...Rabbit Trail:  This was just like therapy!!!  Wow!  I was going to stick it out in my marriage, because of the commitment.  My marriage was killing me.  I realize that now.  But I made a commitment, and I was going to follow through--no matter what.  I just learned something about myself.  Whew!  That was amazing!  This was cheaper than therapy.

So, quitting was not an option.   I had to finish, and I decided that I was going to just take it slow.  I sat down to catch my breath, and watched two young college girls hike up.  One was wearing a pair of shorts that said "Lifeguard" on them.  The other girl was wearing spandex.  They laughed and talked their way up.  I overheard them talking about men and dating.  They reminded me of myself 20 years ago.  I liked them.  By the time they reached me, we were talking and laughing, and I came to find out that this was their third time hiking the incline.  Each time, they were able to shave 10 minutes off their time.  Girl power...I like it.

At this point of the incline, I realized that we were all part of an exclusive "Incline Club".  Everyone is encouraging each other.  The heavy crowds at the bottom have dispersed.  This is about a personal challenge for each person.  I am hands and feet scrambling in some places now.  The conditions were awful.  I keep hearing heavy breathing behind me.  It sounds like someone is two steps behind me, and breathing really, really heavily.  I keep looking behind me, but the closest person is about half a football field away.  It couldn't possibly be that person that's breathing so heavy, right?

A middle aged man is hiking with his teenage son.  The son is walking several steps ahead of his dad with a spring in his step.  He stops to wait for his dad every so often.  His dad is struggling up the incline.  This was the heavy breather!  I could hear him forever away.  Now that he was getting closer, I felt kind of bad for the guy.  All I could think was, "Please don't collapse.  Please don't have a heart attack.".  If this guy needed CPR, I didn't have enough breath for the both of us. 

Finally, the top was in sight.  My two college girls were sitting at the top catching their breath.  As I took the last few steps to the top, they started clapping for me.  I couldn't help but laughing, and yes, I deserved the applause.  As soon as I reached the top, they asked me if I wanted to RUN down Barr Trail with them.  "You girls are a whole lot younger than me.  I'm going to sit and ponder life for awhile.  You go ahead without me."  How pathetic was that?  I'm old now.  My chest hurt, my legs felt like rubber, I was soaking wet with sweat and what I wouldn't have given for a bottle of plain water.  The Vitamin Water tasted like syrup.  It was just grape flavored yuck.  The point was I MADE IT!!!!  Woo hoo for me!

A view from the top



 If I made it down alive from this "hike from Hell", I swore to myself that I wouldn't ever do this again.  I got up and started down Barr Trail.  One word: Scree.  Scree is the loose gravel on top of granite so often found in the Colorado Rockies.  It's like stepping on ball bearings on a bowling alley.  I am slippery surface challenged.  Great, just great!  I have little to no muscle control over my legs at this point, and now I have to maneuver my way down a slope of scree.  Thankfully, there was no one around, because I looked like a complete idiot as I grabbed onto unsuspecting saplings in an attempt to slow down my descent.  Once I was past the scree, I actually started enjoying myself.  This was my kind of hiking.  The scenery was beautiful, the path was well maintained, and I could finally catch my breath.  Oh yeah, I'm soaking with sweat and now I'm getting really, really cold.  Ok, time to jog. 

I was so impressed with the little fences around the hiking path.  It was so well maintained.  Now, I realized that they are "guard rails", just like the kind you see next to the interstates.  The purpose is to keep people from tumbling down the winding mountain trail.  Why???  Because, people like me trip over rocks, because their legs are all rubbery from hiking the stupid incline.  The guard rails saved me several times, and thankfully, no one was present to see my stupid little mishaps down the trail.  I finally reached the parking lot!  Oh thank God!!!  Thank you God!!!  I made it!  I got in my car, guzzled a bottle of water and started driving home.  At that point the craziest thing happened.  I had this crazy thought that I wanted to hike the incline again sometime.  WHAT????  Had I lost my ever-loving mind????  Yes, I had.  It's the same feeling I got after hiking a fourteener.  It's addictive.  One day, I will do this again.  Next time, I will train harder beforehand, but there will be a next time.