Not too many movies make me want to write a review, but this is one of those times where I will make an exception.
Saturday night with my sweetheart.
Dinner...Check
Dessert...Check
Movie...Check
We love to watch dramas. We love great stories. We love the kind of stories that make you think. The kind that affect you deeply afterwards--in a positive way.
This was not one of those movies.
We decided to watch Revolutionary Road starring Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet.
Saturday night with my sweetheart.
Dinner...Check
Dessert...Check
Movie...Check
We love to watch dramas. We love great stories. We love the kind of stories that make you think. The kind that affect you deeply afterwards--in a positive way.
This was not one of those movies.
We decided to watch Revolutionary Road starring Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet.
This movie was described as a critically acclaimed drama. One you will want to watch over and over again. It was described as a love story against all odds. Can their love survive???
Ok, we were hooked. What can we lose? We settled in for an engaging movie night.
The opening scenes were painful to watch. A married couple, who is supposed to be in love, is seen arguing, screaming, and hurling low blows at each other. With tempers flaring, the violence is barely restrained...
It was tough to watch.
I was thinking to myself, "Surely, this has to get better."
It didn't.
Let me first say that Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet lived up to their reputations as exceptional actors. The dislike for this movie has nothing to do with the actors or Sam Mendes' movie direction. My criticism of the movie has everything to do with the content.
Revolutionary Road is a story of a couple that has lost themselves. Frank and April tried their best to fit into a circa 1950's suburban paradise and failed miserably. They were completely unhappy with their lives, each other and the choices they had made. The characters come to this realization and decide to make some drastic changes. April has an idea to leave their American, suburban life behind and move to Paris, France, where Frank can "find his passion". They were going to live the adventure and thumb their noses at convention. For a short period of time, they believed that this would save their troubled marriage, and that they would ultimately find happiness.
This movie is based on the book, Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. It was supposed to be a commentary on the conformity and subsequent loss of identity and individuality that the author believed to be rampant in the 1950's. I can understand the author's point of view, and I believe that if one looks closely, his charges are still relevant today. I see many couples playing the "keeping-up-with-the-Joneses-game". I see many couples unhappy with their lives, their jobs, their houses, etc. and trying to make changes in pursuit of happiness. The author's recognition of the idea of many American adults being locked into a self-imposed prison cell of conformity still holds true today, albeit most women today have more freedom than they did in the 1950's. But, Yates doesn't stop at this idea and attempts to take his point of view even further. When he was asked what the central theme of his work was, he stated, "If my work has a theme, I suspect it's a simple one: that most human beings are inescapably alone, and therein lies their tragedy."
I couldn't disagree more. I think for some tragic people, they believe that "aloneness" and unhappiness is their lot in life. I think differently. This type of thinking annoys me. Honestly, I would make a terrible therapist, because I just don't have patience for those who choose to wallow in misery. There are times when everyone experiences loneliness. I believe that we were created for relationship, therefore feelings of loneliness can be quite painful.
I tell my children every single day that happiness is a choice. People are handed difficulties every single day...some worse than others. In my life, especially since the birth of my third child, I have seen families faced with devastating news regarding the health and life of their child. I have been to numerous funerals of children who have lost their battle with critical illnesses. I have talked with, prayed with and wept with families who have recalled memories of their children's short lives. Some families are destroyed by these challenges, and others handle it with a beautiful grace and come out stronger in the end.
Life is not a picnic. Life can be mundane. Life is hard and will deliver some sucker punches at times. But I also have faith that our creator and savior walks with us everyday, and if you let him, he will see you through those tough times.
The author of Revolutionary Road and the characters he created have no faith.
As the movie took it's course, the possibility of all happiness for this family disappeared. Not slowly either. It crashed and burned in a mighty explosion. Each of the characters was so unlikable and made such terrible choices, that it was painful to watch.
The two main characters in Revolutionary Road, Frank and April, both fell into adultery, abandoning their vows and cheating on their spouse. It was hard to see any love in their family at all, because the arguing imbued such a sense of pure hatred towards each other. As we watched this movie, I couldn't help but think, "When is this going to be over! Please, just end it now!!!" But, always the optimist, I was thinking that I wanted to finish the movie so as to have a sense of resolution and closure.
I'm sorry that I continued.
SPOILER ALERT!!!! Do not read any further if you don't want the climax and resolution of the movie revealed.
The movie ended with April, Kate Winslet's character, aborting their third child via an instillation abortion performed at home. Her hatred for her husband coupled with her innate unhappiness led her to make a decision that resulted in the death of her baby, and ultimately her death as well. The movie left us both feeling miserable. Well, let me clarify. We were so happy that we were not like these sorry, lost souls. We were also aware of the fact that there are those people in this world who are just like Frank and April.
Maybe this movie was so painful to watch, because it makes me think about things I would rather not spend time thinking about. It's been almost two years since the breakup of my marriage. I still struggle with the sting of betrayal. I still don't have a clear understanding of why some people are innately unhappy with their lives, while others attempt to find the silver lining in difficult circumstances. I still don't understand why spouses can't just "work it out". I still find myself needing to help my children cope with the negative side effects of divorce.
Plain and simple: divorce sucks.
Miserable marriages suck.
It was bad enough that I've had to negotiate my way through my own divorce, but to spend my evening watching Revolutionary Road bordered on torture. For those who love to study human behavior, relationships and marriage (especially dysfunctional ones), this might just be the movie for you. For me, I wish I could get that time back that I spent watching this movie. Instead, I will move on and be thankful for each blessing that comes my way.
