Revolutionary Road in Review

Not too many movies make me want to write a review, but this is one of those times where I will make an exception.

Saturday night with my sweetheart.

Dinner...Check

Dessert...Check

Movie...Check

We love to watch dramas.  We love great stories.  We love the kind of stories that make you think.  The kind that affect you deeply afterwards--in a positive way.

This was not one of those movies.


We decided to watch Revolutionary Road starring Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet.

This movie was described as a critically acclaimed drama.  One you will want to watch over and over again.  It was described as a love story against all odds.  Can their love survive???

Ok, we were hooked.  What can we lose?  We settled in for an engaging movie night.

The opening scenes were painful to watch.  A married couple, who is supposed to be in love, is seen arguing, screaming, and hurling low blows at each other.  With tempers flaring, the violence is barely restrained...

It was tough to watch.

I was thinking to myself, "Surely, this has to get better."  

It didn't.

Let me first say that Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet lived up to their reputations as exceptional actors. The dislike for this movie has nothing to do with the actors or Sam Mendes' movie direction.  My criticism of the movie has everything to do with the content.

Revolutionary Road is a story of a couple that has lost themselves.  Frank and April tried their best to fit into a circa 1950's suburban paradise and failed miserably.  They were completely unhappy with their lives, each other and the choices they had made.  The characters come to this realization and decide to make some drastic changes.  April has an idea to leave their American, suburban life behind and move to Paris, France, where Frank can "find his passion".  They were going to live the adventure and thumb their noses at convention.  For a short period of time, they believed that this would save their troubled marriage, and that they would ultimately find happiness.

This movie is based on the book, Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates.  It was supposed to be a commentary on the conformity and subsequent loss of identity and individuality that the author believed to be rampant in the 1950's.  I can understand the author's point of view, and I believe that if one looks closely, his charges are still relevant today.  I see many couples playing the "keeping-up-with-the-Joneses-game".  I see many couples unhappy with their lives, their jobs, their houses, etc. and trying to make changes in pursuit of happiness.  The author's recognition of the idea of many American adults being locked into a self-imposed prison cell of conformity still holds true today, albeit most women today have more freedom than they did in the 1950's.  But, Yates doesn't stop at this idea and attempts to take his point of view even further.  When he was asked what the central theme of his work was, he stated, "If my work has a theme, I suspect it's a simple one: that most human beings are inescapably alone, and therein lies their tragedy."

I couldn't disagree more.  I think for some tragic people, they believe that "aloneness" and unhappiness is their lot in life.  I think differently.  This type of thinking annoys me.  Honestly, I would make a terrible therapist, because I just don't have patience for those who choose to wallow in misery.  There are times when everyone experiences loneliness.  I believe that we were created for relationship, therefore feelings of loneliness can be quite painful.

I tell my children every single day that happiness is a choice.  People are handed difficulties every single day...some worse than others.  In my life, especially since the birth of my third child, I have seen families faced with devastating news regarding the health and life of their child.  I have been to numerous funerals of children who have lost their battle with critical illnesses.  I have talked with, prayed with and wept with families who have recalled memories of their children's short lives.  Some families are destroyed by these challenges, and others handle it with a beautiful grace and come out stronger in the end.

Life is not a picnic.  Life can be mundane.  Life is hard and will deliver some sucker punches at times.  But I also have faith that our creator and savior walks with us everyday, and if you let him, he will see you through those tough times.  

The author of Revolutionary Road and the characters he created have no faith.

As the movie took it's course, the possibility of all happiness for this family disappeared.  Not slowly either.  It crashed and burned in a mighty explosion.  Each of the characters was so unlikable and made such terrible choices, that it was painful to watch.

The two main characters in Revolutionary Road, Frank and April, both fell into adultery, abandoning their vows and cheating on their spouse.  It was hard to see any love in their family at all, because the arguing imbued such a sense of pure hatred towards each other.  As we watched this movie, I couldn't help but think, "When is this going to be over!  Please, just end it now!!!"  But, always the optimist, I was thinking that I wanted to finish the movie so as to have a sense of resolution and closure.

I'm sorry that I continued.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!  Do not read any further if you don't want the climax and resolution of the movie revealed.

The movie ended with April, Kate Winslet's character, aborting their third child via an instillation abortion performed at home.  Her hatred for her husband coupled with her innate unhappiness led her to make a decision that resulted in the death of her baby, and ultimately her death as well.  The movie left us both feeling miserable.  Well, let me clarify.  We were so happy that we were not like these sorry, lost souls.  We were also aware of the fact that there are those people in this world who are just like Frank and April.

Maybe this movie was so painful to watch, because it makes me think about things I would rather not spend time thinking about.  It's been almost two years since the breakup of my marriage.  I still struggle with the sting of betrayal.  I still don't have a clear understanding of why some people are innately unhappy with their lives, while others attempt to find the silver lining in difficult circumstances.  I still don't understand why spouses can't just "work it out".  I still find myself needing to help my children cope with the negative side effects of divorce.  

Plain and simple: divorce sucks.

Miserable marriages suck.

It was bad enough that I've had to negotiate my way through my own divorce, but to spend my evening watching Revolutionary Road bordered on torture.  For those who love to study human behavior, relationships and marriage (especially dysfunctional ones), this might just be the movie for you.  For me, I wish I could get that time back that I spent watching this movie.  Instead, I will move on and be thankful for each blessing that comes my way.

Congenital Heart Day, February 24, 2012

It's official!!!

February 24, 2012 is officially Congenital Heart Day at the Colorado Capitol!!!

I'm not a fan of "copy and paste" on a blog, so I apologize for doing that here.  I received an email from a fellow CHD friend, Amanda Rose Adams, urging all of us affected by CHDs to make a large presence at the Colorado State Capitol on Friday, February 24, 2012.

Here is an excerpt of the email:

GREAT NEWS!!! We have a resolution at the Colorado Legislature.  Both the Senate and the House will vote on a resolution that will recognize congenital heart defects as a unique and urgent condition and celebrate Friday, February 24 as Colorado Congenital Heart Day!!!!! This was the compromise we reached with several stakeholders in lieu of a long term study necessary to adopt pulse ox screenings at our abnormal altitude.  The resolution calls for the study and a commitment from the Colorado Board of Health to make Congenital Heart Defects a health priority in our state.

I am so proud that Representative Fischer and Senator Boyd have supported and championed this work.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE share this message with all CHD families and adults here in Colorado or who are treated by Colorado doctors.  We need AS MANY families and adults as we can to come to the Capitol and be present, be counted, and represent the 50,000 Coloradoans impacted by CHD.  I'm making a Facebook page (you don't need facebook to see it) to post information about the gathering, but for now, please share this message ASAP - we need to prove that all CHD survivors and the lost still count.  We only have 9 days but we must be counted.  This silent disease will silence us no more!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/CHD-Counts-at-the-Colorado-Capitol/325136717522559?sk=wall  

Please come join us at the capitol on Friday, February 24, 2012.  If you are from southern Colorado and would like to be a part of the Mended Little Hearts of Colorado Springs group, please contact us at 719-235-3769.  You can find us on Facebook at "Mended Little Hearts - Colorado Springs" or check out our website at www. mendedlittleheartsofcoloradosprings.org.


Let's show Colorado how many people are affected by CHDs and flood the capitol on Congenital Heart Day!!!

Valentine's Day 2012

Valentine's Day...a day for sweethearts.

A day some remember St. Valentine, for whom the day is named.

For some it's a lovely, much-anticipated day filled with loving thoughts from the special people in their life.  For others, it's absolutely dreaded, pull-the-covers-over-your-head-and-don't-want-to-get-out-of-bed day, because they have a wounded heart.

For me, it's a day that reminds me of broken hearts.  Not "love sick" broken hearts, but the broken hearts of children and adults who were born with congenital heart defects.

I realize that Valentine's Day doesn't mean the same thing to every person.  I don't mean to trivialize other's feelings regarding whether they love or hate this day.  So what is my point exactly?

I want to make people stop and think about the 1.8 million people who are living with congenital heart defects in the United States.  These people have unique hearts.  You might never know that the man you are standing next to in line at the grocery store is listed for a heart transplant, has a pacemaker and an implantable cardioverter defibrillator (ICD).  You might never know that the child laughing and playing at the playground with your child has had 3 open heart surgeries.

Why?  Because they look just like you and me...except for the scars they bear from procedures and surgeries they've had to repair their broken hearts.  Because their scars are hidden beneath their clothes, their battle with congenital heart disease is not readily noticed.

Broken hearts???  Technically.

Unique hearts??? Definitely!

I prefer to say "Mended" hearts.

As you celebrate--or don't celebrate--Valentine's Day, take a moment to think about the many people living in the United States with congenital heart disease.  Think about how you can help make a difference in a family's life.  Check out our website here for events and links on how to donate.

Some of our MLH Heart Heroes helping out with the American Heart Association's 2012 Heart Ball.

Donate Life

I can't think of Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) Awareness Week without thinking about organ, tissue and blood donation.  Most CHDers will at some point in their life require a blood transfusion.  In fact, every day in the United States, 40,000 units of blood are used, and HALF of that is used by our CHD community... each day.

AnnaSophia has certainly required her share of blood.  For my daughter, her life not only depended on donated blood, but also the gift of a donated heart.

According to the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS), in the year 2004 in the United States, 234 children were waiting for heart transplants.  Of the 3, 491 people waiting for hearts in the U.S., roughly 7% of them are children.  Only 2,100 heart transplants take place in the United States each year.  Sadly, many people die because there are not enough people willing to donate.

Please consider becoming an organ, tissue and blood donor.

It truly is the gift of life.

Leave a legacy and make a difference in the world.

Help make the world a better place and become an donor today.  Click here for information on organ and tissue donation.

Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) Awareness Week 2012

AnnaSophia's Story

On December 31st, 2007, my life changed in a way that I never could've imagined.  From the moment my third child, AnnaSophia, was born, she was fighting for her life.  She had so many heart defects, I didn't think there was any way a child like her could live. She was born with an interrupted aortic arch, a ventricular septal defect (VSD), an atrial septal defect (ASD), and a bicuspid aortic valve. 

At 11 days old, AnnaSophia underwent her first open heart surgery. I was amazed at the surgical techniques the doctors at Denver Children's Hospital used to repair her heart, but she still struggled.  She limped along on the heart she was born with, not realizing she was so sick.  She smiled and cooed her way through heart failure that progressed rapidly.  Finally, I was told that she would not be able to live much longer with her heart.  She was at risk of sudden cardiac death.  Her only chance at life was a heart transplant.

Three weeks after being listed, she received the gift of life in the form of a new heart.  She looked amazingly pink after her transplant, but she wasn't out of trouble.  She battled rejection and CMV (cytomeglovirus) infections that required pic lines, chemo-type infusions and hospitalizations.  She faced these setbacks with great determination and lots of smiles.

Mason, AnnaSophia's Donor

Today, AnnaSophia is an amazing and vibrant little 4 year old.  She is doing very well, and looking at her, no one would know that she has battled congenital heart disease. She continues to be at risk for rejection, infections and many other complications.  AnnaSophia has had 12 surgical procedures in her short life.  She has 31 scars on her little body, the most obvious being the zipper down the middle of her chest.  They serve as constant reminders of the journey she's walked, the challenges that she still faces and the miracle that she is.

There are circumstances...well, challenges, that changes a person's life dramatically.  For me it was the birth of my third child and her battle with congenital heart disease.  When AnnaSophia was diagnosed, it felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath of me.  Like someone had punched me in the gut.  Like my breath was being sucked out of me....  

She was nine days old, we were at the pediatric cardiologist's office, and she was crashing.  It was at that moment that we were told she had several heart defects.  

Heart what????  Defects???  My perfect looking, little baby girl???

I had never heard of congenital heart defects before.

What I didn't realize is that heart defects are the most common birth defect in the world, affecting  1 out of 100 babies born.

Congenital heart defects kill more children than all forms of pediatric cancer combined.

Congenital heart defects are the #1 killer of children under the age of 1.

40,000 units of blood are used every day in the United States.  Half of that is used each day by our congenital heart defect community.

Congenital heart defects don't discriminate.  It is an equal opportunity killer.  No matter your race, gender, socioeconomic status, the numbers are still the same.

This is why I do what I do.  I am currently serving as the Co-Program Coordinator for a group called Mended Little Hearts of Colorado Springs.  I want to provide emotional support for families whose children have been diagnosed with congenital heart defects (CHDs).  I want the world to know about CHDs.  I want to help raise money for research so that these children have a chance at full, happy, healthy lives.  My hope is that medical advancements will continue to improve the lives of people faced with congenital and acquired heart diseases.  

I want to Change the World...

Join me.  Check out our events scheduled for Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week here in Colorado Springs.  We kick off the week with a proclamation signing by one of our city council members officially declaring February 7th through the 14th, 2012 as Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week.  We have six blood drives scheduled for the week, fundraisers, and speaking engagements.  

Please check out our website at www.mendedlittleheartsofcoloradosprings.org  or click here for more information.

Pretty Faces, Beautiful Hearts

I've been inspired.  I look around me everyday, and I'm surrounded by truly amazing women.  Women who are life-giving, world-changing women.  These are the strong women who move mountains.  Women who are beautiful from the inside out, from their head to their toes.  These are the quiet ladies in the grocery store line in front of you.  Look around you.  They are pumping their gas, running meetings, nursing babies, saving lives, fundraising, counseling, educating, raising children, litigating, cooking, serving, cleaning, praising, loving.  They are sometimes appreciated.  Sometimes loved.  Sometimes overlooked.  I felt the need to honor these amazing women. 

Yes, there are women out there who give our sex a bad name.  Women who make us hang our heads in shame.  Women who are poison, women who are selfish, loveless, game-playing turds.  Women who leave their children, their husbands and a trail of destruction in their paths.  They are the Jezabel's of our sex, and we all know what fate she faced...

The women I want to honor are the superstars of our sex.  They are the people who touch your life and inspire you.  They walk into your life, and you are never the same again...in a good way.  They make you want to be a better person.  They bring out altruistic traits in everyone around them.  They may not be doctors or nurses, but they save lives everyday.  They are life-givers, not life-takers.  These women are heroes!!!

My plan was to share a slide show with some of the world-changing women that have touched my life, but I have found that most of these women are so humble, that they find the idea embarrasing.  My point was to honor these women, not embarrass, so I will not post pictures.  These women are grandmothers, mothers of sick children, nurses, doctors, teachers, neighbors, photographers, administrators, executive directors, business women, volunteers, etc.  All I can say is most of these women know exactly who they are, because I have told them how they have impacted the world around them in such a positive way.  Ladies, you know who you are, and I want to say, "I honor you".

A Call for Photos

Ok ladies, you've inspired me.  The word "inspire" and "inspiration" gets thrown around a lot on my blogs.  I don't use it lightly.  I've looked around me, and ladies, you are amazing!!!  I know some of the most inspiring, amazing, world-changing women.  I am honored to be surrounded by such people, and I want to honor you.  Please send me photos of yourself to be featured in an upcoming post.  I am putting together a slideshow of the superstars of our sex.  You can email your pictures to me at smeea5@yahoo.com to be featured in a near future post.  Let's let the world know who you are, what you do, and the HUGE impact you have on our world.